Birthday Blues

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Yesterday, another year came and went… meaning I’m another year older.  Yikes.  Where is the time going?  I think I kept asking myself that all day.  Is that a sign you’re getting old??  Probably.  Is dreading your birthday another sign???  Wait, don’t answer that.  It’s not that I have a problem with getting older… no, it’s something more… like the voodoo that surrounds March the 10th…

In my defense I’ve never been a big fan of my birthday to begin with… for a variety of reasons. The big one being that it’s cursed.  No, really it is.  See, growing up I think I spent more time at funerals on my birthday than having parties.  If a miracle happened and no one died then usually the last blizzard of the year would hit.  More canceled parties.  Or I would be deathly ill.  My seventeenth birthday I slept right through it.  Literally.  Ugh, still remember how sick I felt that day.  Or my tenth indoor pool party birthday where I sat shivering under a blanket while I watched everyone have fun because I had such a bad fever.  Oh wait… my favorite one… my Mom, who is a cake decorator on the side, made this amazing purple troll cake for my sixth or maybe seventh birthday.  I can still envision it today.  That’s probably one of my favorite cakes she ever made me and I never even had a piece of it.  No one did.  Well, that’s not exactly true.  Our basset hound had a pretty good helping when he did his magic tablecloth trick right before the guests arrived.  Somehow all the plates, silverware, glasses, everything, stayed on the table.  Except my cake.  Of course.  At least now I can laugh about that one.

But this year none of that happened.  Nothing terrible happened at all (well a few people I thought would remember me didn’t, but that’s normal), yet I still felt particularly glum.  Maybe it’s because every year my Mom tries so hard to make it really special for me, which, as I get older, only reminds me that someday she won’t be here anymore.  And (oh boy I’m getting choked up) I’ll really miss seeing how happy she gets trying to make an old Scrooge like me smile.  Then that just makes me feel like I don’t deserve anything special, especially since I often feel I don’t do enough for everyone.  Although, sometimes I feel that way because I get my hopes up that certain things will happen and when they don’t I feel so crushed.  (It’s a vicious cycle… I’m working on it.)  And yesterday that’s pretty much what happened.

Well, not everything… I also guess this year I feel so down too because I’m not where I want to be with things.  Career and family to name a few.  I didn’t hit a milestone birthday or anything, but for some reason it still feels like time is just slipping away.  And every year gone is another year that I haven’t accomplished what I want.  I’m trying as hard as I can, but when things… like working late at your day job, sickness, new house, blah, blah, blah…keep sucking up your time… It’s a tough feeling.

C’est la vie.  Sorry this post is such a downer, but I’m not feeling up to snuff yet.  And I just needed to talk to someone about it… even if it’s me writing and you reading.  It helps, so thank you everyone 🙂  Love to you all!

p.s. The blizzard this year is just a few days late… we’re supposed to get clobbered tomorrow by Winter Storm Vulcan… oh the memories ha-ha.  There’s a few other examples below that I took from a local newspaper… see not making this stuff up!

Memorable March snowfalls:

• March 27, 2011 – Spring brings 6.8 inches of snow.

• March 7-8, 2008 – Two-day snowfall total of 21.3 inches.

• March 16, 2004 – The 14.3 inches of snow is still a record for that day in March.

• March 13-14, 1993 – Blizzard of ‘93 drops 17.5 inches of snow.

• March 2-3, 1976 – Area ice storm causes $80 million damage.

• March 17, 1936 – 19 inches of snow falls on St. Patrick’s Day.

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21 thoughts on “Birthday Blues

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPHANIE, it might be a little late, but better late than never. What day were you born on, what time of the day or night. How long did your mom labor with you. I am sure if you one day on your birthday went over to your mom and gave her a big hug and a kiss and thanked her for all that she has done for you, you would feel great.
    Birthday’s are milestones not for things you accomplish, or where you want to be, but just because you opened your eyes to a brand new day…again…
    Sounds like you have some pretty good memories to laugh at and remember. So celebrate your life, all the things you do have. Especially on your birthday. Health, Love and success. :O)……

    1. Thank you so much!! I was born on March 10 and it was in the evening, but I can’t remember the exact time. I want to say somewhere around 5pm. She didn’t have a very long labor, especially considering I was two weeks late and didn’t want to come out haha. Aw, such a great idea. I’m actually getting together with her later today, so I’ll be putting that plan into action… thank you! And thank you for all the kind words and well wishes. Really helped cheer me up 🙂 I also hope you are doing well and have a wonderful weekend!

  2. Happy birthday and have a wonderful year. Just had mine (3rd) and still in shock. How I would love to reverse the digits! I hope you had a fab day. I have been away for a week and am away today and tomorrow but I do know I said I would reply to your last message on my blog last week. Not forgotten, just not near a computer. Keep happy and well and I hope the day went as you hoped. 🙂

    1. Thank you 🙂 And a very Happy Birthday to you too!! Don’t they just sneak up on you so fast?? Ugh, don’t know where the time goes. I hope you had a wonderful day too! No worries about replaying… I’m always behind myself, so whenever you have a chance is all good 🙂 Hope your travels also went well… have a great weekend 🙂

      1. Thanks so much and you too. I know I need to reply to one of your comments and will look later. In the middle of trying to do a blog re my week off and having a nightmare with adding photos. Internet seems a bit hit and miss today. 🙂

  3. Happy birthday! I’m glad that there were no disasters this year. Surely an achievement in itself? Birthdays can be rather hard as they do seem to dredge up all sorts of things that we don’t want to think about. The way I deal with it is just remind myself that I’m like a fine wine and just keep getting better with age! 😉 And from reading this post I can see you are just that little bit more fabulous than you were yesterday. Gosh this age thing is pretty wonderful sometimes!

    1. Thank you! And you are so right definitely an achievement that it passed without a hitch. Ohhh I love your metaphor!! I may have to borrow that sometime 🙂 And thank you so much for your kinds words too… meant a lot to me and cheered me up big time 🙂 You’re so positive and able to see the good in everything, I just love it! Don’t ever change 🙂

      1. Exactly! Well you’re very welcome to out it to good use some time 🙂 Thank you, that’s lovely of you to say. I’m glad it wasn’t too bad after all 😉

  4. Happy belated birthday to you, sweetie! May all your dreams come true! May your first novel be a major success! And may your life be full of love, laughter and joy! 😀

    Love and hugs, Roxy & Tigerlino

    P.S. Only 12 more days until Tigerlino’s birthday!! Yeah! 😀

    1. Thank you so much guys!! I love all your kind words; they brighten my day so very much! And a very happy early birthday to Tigerlino!!! I hope you get tons of treats, love, and fun 🙂 And maybe a little of the nip too 😉 Enjoy! xoxo

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