Yesterday, another year came and went… meaning I’m another year older. Yikes. Where is the time going? I think I kept asking myself that all day. Is that a sign you’re getting old?? Probably. Is dreading your birthday another sign??? Wait, don’t answer that. It’s not that I have a problem with getting older… no, it’s something more… like the voodoo that surrounds March the 10th…
In my defense I’ve never been a big fan of my birthday to begin with… for a variety of reasons. The big one being that it’s cursed. No, really it is. See, growing up I think I spent more time at funerals on my birthday than having parties. If a miracle happened and no one died then usually the last blizzard of the year would hit. More canceled parties. Or I would be deathly ill. My seventeenth birthday I slept right through it. Literally. Ugh, still remember how sick I felt that day. Or my tenth indoor pool party birthday where I sat shivering under a blanket while I watched everyone have fun because I had such a bad fever. Oh wait… my favorite one… my Mom, who is a cake decorator on the side, made this amazing purple troll cake for my sixth or maybe seventh birthday. I can still envision it today. That’s probably one of my favorite cakes she ever made me and I never even had a piece of it. No one did. Well, that’s not exactly true. Our basset hound had a pretty good helping when he did his magic tablecloth trick right before the guests arrived. Somehow all the plates, silverware, glasses, everything, stayed on the table. Except my cake. Of course. At least now I can laugh about that one.
But this year none of that happened. Nothing terrible happened at all (well a few people I thought would remember me didn’t, but that’s normal), yet I still felt particularly glum. Maybe it’s because every year my Mom tries so hard to make it really special for me, which, as I get older, only reminds me that someday she won’t be here anymore. And (oh boy I’m getting choked up) I’ll really miss seeing how happy she gets trying to make an old Scrooge like me smile. Then that just makes me feel like I don’t deserve anything special, especially since I often feel I don’t do enough for everyone. Although, sometimes I feel that way because I get my hopes up that certain things will happen and when they don’t I feel so crushed. (It’s a vicious cycle… I’m working on it.) And yesterday that’s pretty much what happened.
Well, not everything… I also guess this year I feel so down too because I’m not where I want to be with things. Career and family to name a few. I didn’t hit a milestone birthday or anything, but for some reason it still feels like time is just slipping away. And every year gone is another year that I haven’t accomplished what I want. I’m trying as hard as I can, but when things… like working late at your day job, sickness, new house, blah, blah, blah…keep sucking up your time… It’s a tough feeling.
C’est la vie. Sorry this post is such a downer, but I’m not feeling up to snuff yet. And I just needed to talk to someone about it… even if it’s me writing and you reading. It helps, so thank you everyone 🙂 Love to you all!
p.s. The blizzard this year is just a few days late… we’re supposed to get clobbered tomorrow by Winter Storm Vulcan… oh the memories ha-ha. There’s a few other examples below that I took from a local newspaper… see not making this stuff up!
Memorable March snowfalls:
• March 27, 2011 – Spring brings 6.8 inches of snow.
• March 7-8, 2008 – Two-day snowfall total of 21.3 inches.
• March 16, 2004 – The 14.3 inches of snow is still a record for that day in March.
• March 13-14, 1993 – Blizzard of ‘93 drops 17.5 inches of snow.
• March 2-3, 1976 – Area ice storm causes $80 million damage.
• March 17, 1936 – 19 inches of snow falls on St. Patrick’s Day.