Goodbye First Home, Hello Change!

First HomeSo we’re in the middle of moving, fun stuff.  Great time of the year to do it too… no added stress or anything.  And instead of packing like I should be, I’m on here procrastinating.  Of course, that could be because of all these overwhelming emotions I’m feeling too… fear, discomfort (I hate change), sadness… a lot of sadness… maybe this is my way of sorting everything out…

I’m not too sure why I feel so sad.  Other than it being our first home, we haven’t had any significant memories happen here.  Like kids or grand scale remodeling or family get-togethers…  yet my heart still aches.  My husband doesn’t understand (he tries) because he’s already moved on.  To him it was just a small starter home, something to build equity with, not our “forever” home.  And I get that because that’s how I felt at first too.

Then we lived here for a few years… things became comfortable, meaningful, ours.  Just looking around invokes all these memories.  Outback my husband built me these beautiful raised garden beds.  Because our houses are so close together, the dirt had to be dumped in our driveway and he had to haul it to our backyard by hand.  And believe me, it was a lot of dirt; those boxes are deep!  Or how my husband and father finished fencing in our backyard (the old owners only did three sides–weird), so our dogs could roam free.  Or inside where my husband, father, father-in-law, and brother-in-law worked hard to make our home nice before we moved in.  They painted, put down a new dining room floor, scraped off the old ugly popcorn ceiling, patched holes, laid new carpet downstairs… you name it, they did it.  Without them our house wouldn’t be a home.  (Don’t even get me started on how grateful I am or how guilty I feel for selling after all their hard work.)

But I know this isn’t where we want to be forever, especially if we have kids. The school district is terrible.  The safety of our neighborhood is becoming questionable (just had three cop cars breaking up a fight the other night).  We’re surrounded by industry, a few of which have been found guilty in some pretty serious lawsuits.  If we have more than one child our house will be very cramped.  Outside, we’d like our kids to have some space to run around or have a swing-set or just be able to play ball without breaking a window (something my husband almost did!).   Plus, in a few years we’ll have to make some major updates and if we put the money into the house, we just won’t see a return on it.   So I get it, I do, but it still makes me sad.  *Sniff, sniff*

Le sigh… at least I’ll always have the memories and we’ll make more fun, exciting memories in the new house.  I am looking forward to that.  Chin up, right?  This is a new year filled with new beginnings!  And it’s gonna be great!

Okay, less procrastinating, more packing, chop chop… apologies if I am absent from here or slow in responding too.  Not sure when we’ll have our internet hooked up. (Gah, what am I going to do with myself?) All right, hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!  I’ll be thinking of you all!

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22 thoughts on “Goodbye First Home, Hello Change!

  1. This reminds me of the life of a sea snail. When it’s time for the snail to move into a bigger one it happens. Maybe it’s time.

      1. Memories of old homes are funny. You look back and smile mostly remembering the good times never the sad times. I’ve changed shells and usually remember, “That’s where josh took the header or where the cat…”

  2. I understand totally. Not only the sweat equity, but you know the smell of your yard in the various seasons – what will be blooming and when. You know that under that certain bush at that certain time, you’ll spot the first delicate green growth of grass that tells you winter is leaving and spring is coming. I’m glad you have spent time in such a nice place with memories that will follow you, wherever you go. I’m glad you are going to another place to start making memories in. Peace and blessings to you in the New Year and the New Home!

  3. Dear Stephanie! Don’t be sad! Change is always difficult at first, even if it is good and something we want. Give it time. It will become easier eventually… 🙂 All the best to you! We’ll be thinking of you! Sending many extra hugs your way 😀 xoxo Roxy & Tigerlino

    1. Aw, thanks guys 🙂 I need those extra hugs too and so does our furry family. Although I think the empty boxes are helping the kitties feel better… for now. Until we begin the ride to the new house. Oh boy, I’m sure you two know all about that! Thanks for your support, much appreciated 🙂 xoxo

  4. S.J. just remember this , “Home is where the heart is.” I am pushing 71 and have lived in many different homes and towns. They are fond memories now, but home is here where the love dwells. Cheer by the end of 2014 you will have the same feeling you are leaving behind.:o)

    1. Oh that is such a great saying! I am definitely going to keep repeating that to myself 🙂 especially when I’m packing and feeling most sad. Thank you for your kind words too, really appreciate it and definitely helps me feel better knowing how your experiences have turned out 🙂

  5. Dear Stephanie, This is Good News! If you look from the positive sides that you’ve listed above and they are very strong ones that you have made the right decision. But without this sweet home, you wouldn’t be taking this very progressive action now. It would be something else. So this house was not only a good memoire but also a milestone in your sweet lives! I’m so happy that you are moving to a larger and a safer place and we know that you would make new memories there.
    I can’t prove but I remember reading an article (very long time ago) about the top three mostly accepted topics which lead to depression are : loss of someone loved, moving home and divorce. Especially us girls we are more sensitive about the attachment to our homes and there’s a saying over here as “the female bird builds up the nest”.
    God be with you and may help you when you feel sad, but additionally you have the world next to you like a husband, 2 Labradors and 5 scared cats who needs your love and comforting voice and hugs.
    Me and my family of cats are awaiting for your return. Please take your time 🙂
    We love you and remember you every day<3
    Hugs and Kisses
    Servant Z and Family

    1. Hi guys,
      Thank you so much! You’re right looking at the positive, there is a lot of good reasons. And it is a good stepping-stone milestone in our lives too 🙂 Thank you for helping me see that. Oh, I like that saying too–so true! Now we’re starting to build a new nest with new memories, but that’s true, being a woman you’re more sensitive. So true! And I’m feeling it right now, ugh. Just glad I have all of you, my husband and furry family to help me through it 🙂 I feel bad for our one kitty Colberto… he didn’t do well on the last move. Poor little guy was so scared and stressed (he peed on the bed in the middle of the night while he was sleeping with us). I hope I can help him through it better this time. Love you guys! xoxo ❤

      1. Wow, we are so happy that you’re online so soon! We’ve missed you…
        Thank you for your kind and positive interpretations back 🙂
        Colberto… We are sincerely sorry for his situation. These kinds of errors may happen and will pass in time, but still the thought of his being sad, scared, not feeling safe and confused at the moment, all of these makes us feel sad. Of course (hopefully) he will adapt, but why isn’t there any chance to speak with him and explain that you are all together with him, he’s being loved and safe in this new home? You know better what to do, but the boxes look like fun as you have said in the above comments and keeping him busy with toys to tell him that this is a safe place that we are all having fun all the time (I can’t imagine yours and your husband’s fun :-))
        Wish all the best of luck and happiness!
        Love and hugs from Servant Z, Yelloz and the rest of the clan…

  6. Oh Stephanie, I hear you. Our first house was where our three sons were born. It was small, way to small for 3 boys of different ages (each 6 years apart) with totally different interests, needs, and space requirements (yes, a one year old needs more space than a 12 yr. old). We had lived in this house for 10 years of memory-making, but we were out of space. It wasn’t a question of whether or not we could stay there.
    Our second house was where our guys grew up. We lived there for 18+ years, Now these walls really held secrets, as well as memories. How could I possibly leave, especially when our oldest was on his own in northern VA with a family of his own, our middle was living in Atlanta and working on his Masters, and number three was in college at the Coast Guard Academy in CT. We were moving to a LARGER HOUSE so that there would be a room for each to come home to with their friends and/or families. But it was hard to leave. My husband sent me to the new house to await the movers so I wouldn’t see them load our home into their truck.
    We lived in our third home for 7 1/2years. It wasn’t as hard to leave because our children hadn’t lived there, but still there were memories of the times they were there. We were living there when number 2 died, when number 1 moved his family back home to help us through our grief and because he had always wanted to come back to Ohio. We were also living there, when #3 graduated from the CG Academy and when he got married. There were memories of all the times everyone was able to be home together, including the last time. We sold this home to downsize when my husband retired and moved to a ranch.
    You make a house a home and you write your own book of life – you can’t separate the house from your life there. Yes, it is just a structure, but it is an integral part of your life, it is the package holds all of your life events. After you’ve moved you will not feel “at home” for awhile. It takes some time to adjust to the change. But, given time, it will once again become the place you long to go back to at the end of a trip, the place you make plans, possibly start a family, where you live.
    Best wishes for a smooth move. You are about to embark on a new adventure with new spaces, new neighbors, and new memories.

    1. Oh wow, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to leave your house behind after that, even if you didn’t live there that long. It still held some very precious memories I’m sure.

      And having three boys in one house… well four if you count hubby 🙂 … I could never imagine any house being big enough for that. Tornado city! Totally understandable moving to a larger house. I would almost think that would be the hardest move, but when you talk about the second house… I don’t know how you did it! You’re one strong woman! And that’s so funny your husband sent you away when the movers came… because mine is doing the same thing! I’m supposed to go to work then drive home to a different house, ugh. I’m getting teary-eyed thinking about it haha.

      I love when you said, “you write your own book of life”. So true and I think I’m going to post that one my inspiration board (once I get my office back together). And our first home will be a chapter in our book, one to fondly look back on and one to move forward from. It will help lead into the next chapter… where hopefully that adjustment period doesn’t take too long.

      Thank you for the well wishes 🙂 We’re moving boxes over the weekend then the big stuff Tuesday, so hopefully everything goes smoothly. No fun living out of boxes, yuck. And thank you so much for sharing your story! I loved every word and can’t tell you how much it’s helped me feel better (and understood). I’ve actually re-read it every time I’m in the middle of packing and started to feel sad. So thank you very much dear friend, I truly truly appreciate it!

  7. Our first home was like that. We started small, a humble two-bedroom, then moved to what we have now. It’s great having humble beginnings, but I also see where you’re coming from. My wife was the same way. I thought of it as an equity builder while she thought of the memories. Love my house now, and I’m sure you’ll love your new house, too!

    1. Oh, phew. That makes me feel so much better! I hear ya on the humble beginnings, makes you appreciate things more. But there comes a time to move on and I know that’s now, but it’s still hard. I think it’s a woman thing though haha. Your wife and I should talk 😉 Glad you like your new house! I think with time I will too. Thanks for your kind words, appreciate it 🙂

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