So I’m an introvert and sometimes when I’m really into my writing, I can turn into quite the loner. Want an image? Okay, so this how I imagine myself… I’m sitting in a dark room, typing away at my stories. Hundreds of cats surround me (*cough* crazy cat lady *cough cough*). My disheveled hair, that might have a Frito or two stuck in it, pokes up in all directions. Oh, and there’s probably some big dark rain cloud floating above me. My husband reassures me it’s not that bad, but I’m sure he’s just being nice. Now I’m not saying being an introvert or a loner is bad. Not at all. It’s just when you’re alone and that negativity starts creeping in… like when you don’t feel like you can muster up the energy to interact with your family. Or when you’d rather crawl back under the covers and hide for the rest of the day… or till the end of time. Then it starts to become a problem. I know. I’ve been there. Because when that cancerous negativity hits, it sucks you into this dark hole that feels almost impossible to escape from. This hole where meaningful things in your life disappear like ghosts in the wind. But there’s a way out!
How, you ask? Well, with baby step number three of course! The social force field. In my last few posts I talked about the self-care force field where you need to take care of yourself first, so you can feel better in order to find meaning. And the physical force field where you need to get moving, so those feel-good chemicals start flowing and generating more positivity, which will help you find those meaningful things. Now that you’ve taken time for yourself and have the feel-good fuzzies flowing, time to engage.
3. Social force field – When negativity starts to take over your life, we tend to pull away from others and go into hiding. I know, I did it. And when I went into my dark hole, negativity’s evil friend rumination set it. And let me tell you, the fastest way to suck the meaning out of life, is to sit there and dwell. So what’s a good way to banish these toxic fiends? Friends! Family! A pet! Even a book (fictional characters can be friends… Hannibal Lecter and I are very good friends). Something that will get you out of your head and focused on anything else. It’ll be hard at first, so start small like calling a friend to go grab a cup of coffee. Even twenty minutes will make a difference. And it might even feel foreign or painful at first. When I made plans to go to Panera with my friend, I felt nauseated with anxiety. But I forced myself to go and you know what? It was like a drug. I felt high and light for days. I couldn’t stop smiling, laughing, and damn, did I want more. You just gotta take that first little baby step and make the connection. Then it will snowball from there. And when you’re feeling lighter, happier, more free… you’ll see meaning in so many things. The simple act of connecting with someone can give your life so much meaning that you won’t have to search for it. Even if that person is a fictional character.
So grab a friend, go for a walk, and get out of your head. I decided to grab my husband and go skydiving… eek! Mostly because I don’t want to die alone… kidding… kinda. What kinds of things do you like to do to connect? How does it make you feel after? Love to hear from you!